I like spending time with my friends; I enjoy the camaraderie and the conversations we have. I like that we challenge each others’ points-of-view and still find time to laugh and joke with each other at the end of the day.
I’m guessing that you’re that way with your friends too. You have a great time when you’re with them; you banter back and forth with a free flow of intriguing information. It’s usually a very causal, non-threatening environment and you simply enjoy being around them.
If you’ve been in the field of sales for any length of time, you’re sure to have heard the phrase, “people buy from people they like.” My proposition is this, how do you create a similar type of atmosphere with all of those new prospects and customers as you’ve created with all of your friends? Turns out, the answer may be closer than you think.
In a recent New York Times article, “You Remind Me of Me,”[i] author Benedict Carey notes that psychologists have been studying the art of persuasion for nearly a century. During that time, they have found that “immediate social bonding between strangers is highly dependent on mimicry, a synchronized and usually unconscious give and take of words and gestures that creates a current of good will between two people.”
The article discusses a study where psychologists at Duke tried to identify how mimicking someone’s behavior might impact their decision on whether or not to buy your product.
During a taste test for a proposed sports drink, subjects were interviewed about the new product. Psychologists observed that mimicking or mirroring the interviewees’ posture and movements with a slight delay made subjects more likely to consume the new drink, purchase it, and predict its success in the market. This was further reinforced even when the person being interviewed knew that the interviewer had a stake in the drink and its success.
Mirroring is something that occurs naturally in communication with people who are in rapport with one another. You quickly fall into mirroring when you’re with friends or acquaintances. However, when meeting with folks that you’re unfamiliar with, such as clients or new prospects, it often feels as if there’s an invisible wall or barrier that has to be broken.
The New York Times article also quotes Jean Decety, a neuroscientist at the University of Chicago, who states that “when you’re being mimicked in a good way, it communicates a kind of pleasure, a social high you’re getting from the other person.” By subtly mimicking or mirroring your prospects’ posture and body movements, you can create an environment where they begin to feel comfortable. You create a warm and convincing environment where those invisible, protective barriers begin to come down, ‘good will’ gets extended and a free flow of information can take place.
Great communicators and salespeople have long recognized this and are masterful at creating this rapport within relationships. Whether it’s picking up on the tone of the conversation, the words that are used or the physical cues that are given – they’re able to respond without thinking about it.
A word of caution: social mimicking or mirroring can and does go wrong. If your mirroring is ‘immediate and precise,’ people quickly pick up on it and you’ll lose rapport, credibility and likely the sale. The intent of mirroring is not to manipulate your customers for personal gain, but to quickly create an environment of trust, so you can build the win-win relationship you need for your customer to ultimately buy from someone they like…YOU!!
By Mike Miller, Consultant, Corporate Visions Inc.
[i] Carey, Benedict, “You Remind Me of Me,” New York Times, February 12, 2008, http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/12/health/12mimic.html